Tales of A Nessasaurus Rex Chapter 1
by twilight0asylum0forme
Summary: it it a long term story that will be the stories of the crazy things her relatives alice, jasper etc. do.
1. Chapter 1

Tales of a nessasaurus rex 1

**The name is a thing for my friend. We gave her the nick- name nessie and she loves dinosaurs so nessasaurus if you have questions leave them in a comment or review and I will answer them before the next chapter is written.**

Its nessie here! I have seen some of the insane things my aunts and uncles do and they just have to be written down! I love the band Jack's Mannequin and the sibling of it Something Corporate or SoCo for short. These stories will mostly be filled with those stories of said aunt's and uncle's but also of my crazy friends. Also like all good stories there is this guy. His name is Alex. Never meant to be more I thought but a Friday three months ago that all changed. I was trying to guess his crush (I know a dangerous topic for guy and girl friends) but I just had to know. He gave me hints all day and they pointed to me. Finally three days later I got the courage to ask whether or not it was me. He told me it was. I don't like him. Not like him like him any ways. And that had to come out when a person had told him I did. We still act like it was a drunken night. Back to friends, I have a gay best friend (every girls dream!). He is so fun to hang out with. His name is Robert but I call him Aro . When we met in seventh grade I was staring at a guy named Nick and he was gay by then so Robert comes up to me and goes" he is dreamy isn't he girl" in the gayest voice imaginable. So we ate lunch together and were best friends ever since. Ah the ways we make friends. Oh yeah you probably made yours in a sand box in second grade but not a choice for me! Well Aro isn't my only friend ,there is also the one from kindergarten, Linden Sullivan. Ah Linden, what a great friend. There's also Jania Turner. We met in 2 years ago. She got in trouble with a teacher and I just hated this teacher and I wanted to make him look like a jerk so me and Aro were like" She didn't throw that we saw him do it" then we pointed to some random kid. It worked out well. So there is most of my friends.

**That's all for now cause it's like 4 am and if I keep writing I will end up writing like this**

So I know the one peanut butter jar and he was like my best chocolate and I love my momma Bella and jazzy and all that skittles but I really think Andrew McMahon is so much math teacher getting her arm gnawed off five and so yeah I think I made the right rubber ducky

**I realize this would be hilarious but you would have no idea I was saying**

So I know this one guy and he was like my best friend and I love my mom (Bella) and Edward and all that jazz but I would always choose Edward and that would be the right choice.

**This still makes next to nothing sense which is my point to why I need to stop typing. These are actually my dreams**


	2. finally using the system

**Good news first: I got 19 views for my first chapter! But only 6 reviews and not a single question? Really? I looked forward to those! OK I hate to threaten you already but I'm going on a writers strike with a huge cliff hanger end if you don't send at least 5 questions. Even if their about me it doesn't matter I'll take It!**

"Stop calling me hot"

"But you are"

"Ah! Talking to walls is no fun at all"

A conversation during ELA. It made me feel like I wished I was in the garage .So of course the moment I got home I went to the garage where Rosalie only resided on the weekends. I went into the gray walled garage with the glints of red metal tool boxes. I chose Alice's Porsche this time wishing I could see the future and stop it. **Please fans oh mine listen to acoustic bruised while you read, I listened to it and found the inspiration to start from scratch with this chapter. I love the song because it's so true like in Airports where he says" They say children make the best soldiers they do just their told, but I'm not fighting a war". So please, even if you hate my intestines, listen to it.**

So I sat on the hood and sighed and then Rose pops up saying" Hay!""OH DEAR GOD! Oh it's only you; sorry you scared the crap out of me!""Sorry! So what's wrong kiddo?" "Nothing I guess" "Don't guess just know" "OK then something is wrong" "Would you care to intrigue me with a fascinating story?" Then me and Rose spent the next half hour listening and telling my story. She mostly inturupted with " That is just creepy" and "ooo" like the people on t.v. shows when to people make she said something I just did not expect to hear" Well kiddo you got one messed up life there" "Well don't be too nice there" "But slowly everything is getting figured out." " Well like Andrew said in Bruised" Sometimes perfection can be perfect hell" Then we got into a half hour sing a long to my iPod glass passenger album. She can be fun to hang out with. " Hey you know what would be fun?" "A chocolate mountain?" "Yes but also having a karaoke night!" " Eh I don't think anyone would go for that" " Yeah your probably right."

I went inside after grabbing a Diet Caffine Free Coke( Mom thinks the lion blood is making her fat or something like that) . I sat on our granite fireplace and put my feet on the slab of granite just above the frame of the fireplace. I watch A Haunting on discovery and don't bother to change it when Man V.S. Wild comes on but after half of it was over Mom came in and changed it to 30 minute meals qwith Rachel Ray so I got up and got the pink DELL laptop resting on the side table to get on . I was searching stupid stuff into the search engine when I typed in random and this guy named Mitchell Davis came up with a video called Talking To Myself( inserting link for all of you .com/watch?v=l0emjCZJVuA&feature=PlayList&p=29648A56A7CEC53B&playnext=1&index=14 ). It. Was. Hilarious. Now I would like to end this chapter with one of my favorite Scrubs( one of the greatest shows ever! This isn't even opinion! It's fact!) ending quotes

"And at the end of the day, you can learn everything you need in life by watching Sesame Street when your little

Like always play nice( extremely witchy girl walks by being a *itch)

Or always try your hardest( extremely lazy guy walks by)

Or even that its okay to cry( JD is crying)"

**So that was the end of the second chapter but out of love for you all I'm giving you a preview of the third Chapter! Exciting right!**

Alice walks in the room with her hands over her "chest"

Emmett, Jasper, and Edward all say" Hey Alice.." in an awkward way.

Alice then said" I've got a good case of the grabbers!" in the creepiest voice imaginable. She then wiggled her fingers. Bella then pops up saying" I am nanerpus, na na nan guess what?i like pancakes" Then Esme pops up puts a Viking hat on bella's head and repeatedly pops up and down whispering " _buffalo, buffalo,buffalo…". Then Edward exclaimed" how many people can fit behind that couch?!"_

_Then everyone starts singing the Sesame Street theme song editited to the Joshua Radin version. Then Carshizzle comes in and half squats, swishes his hand side to side as if he were… well you know then stuck out his pelvis. Everyone then said" I really wish you hadn't done that"then he said " Not me!"_

_This is from a great song called" Bruised"_

" _Sometimes perfection can be perfect hell"_


	3. Chapter 3

**Tales of a Nessasaurus Rex Chapter 3 **

**I figured you guys had already read the chapter preview and didn't need to read it again so I'm gonna start off right away. Also this is my broken keyboard so if spell check didn't catch an error and neither did I just add it yourself.**

**Edward= Ed befre what is said**

**Bella= B before what nonsense she says**

**Nessie= does say something out of character because Alice stole her laptop she is of course N**

**And you get the point so yeah roll the text….**

Ed= Nessie stop invading my thoughts!

(nessie's hands are wrapped round Edwards head)  
N=(with head down) Sorry

A= MUAH HAH HAH HAH!

N= What the hell why did you steal my laptop Alice you have 7 one for each color!

A= But they all lost charge(in a whiney voice)

N= Here's an idea, CHARGE THEM!

A= Nah it's easier to steal everyone elses

Em= Speaking of which I would like mine back!

A= Oh shut up Emmett no one is listening

N= Its okay emmy( in maternal voice as she strokes his head )

Em= Thank you!

A= Hey I have spent years breaking his self esteem with Rosalie and we will slap you with a fish if you build it up

N= I'll invade your head and make sure Jasper never comes back straight from a trip in the forest with Jake again. Oh yeah I can do that( bobs head)

B= Nessasaur( with a motherly glare)  
N= But everyone deserves to have happiness

B= Aren't you supposed to be working on a science project?

N= I am and its done

B= Can I see it?( in a skeptical voice)

N= Sure! ( takes out a bell and rings it)

Em.= (hugs himself saying) mmmmmm

B= how did you do that?

N= Every time I rang the bell twice a day I said "No one will hug you" and to prove me wrong he hugged himself

B= Good job sweetie

N= thanks( snatches laptop from Alice)

N=AH WHAT IS THIS IN MY FANFICTIONS!??!?!?!?!?!ALICE!

( growl erupts from nessie)

A= Oh don't get your granny panties in a bunch

N= I'ma slap you

Ed= (also growls)

A= shut it Abercrombie and Bitch

N= Haha good one!

**Well I'm done for now. Please keep reviewing and questions please!**

**No offense to people who like Abercrombie and Fitch clothing.**

**Please read my profile.**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or songs used in this parody.

I want to start off thanking each and every one of your views. I got 40 hits and 38 views! So think you all! But I really wish you guys would review! I mean all you have to do is click! You don't even have to have a screen name! Please people! Please tell your friends! Also tell me which you would like to hear about Nessie's personal life or just the funnies. Don't stop reading now because I'm trying to post my karaoke chapter. But my magic computer broke and when it was fixed by unicorns the chapter and I'm trying to recover and get it again. Hint: it includes someone wearing a banana suit!

(Charshizzle gets on stage and has a guitar)

A: HEY WAIT HE ALREADY SANG SALTWATER ROOM WITH ESME!

B: The rules state in section b chapter 4 sub chapter 2.6 that a contestant may re-enter if he/she has already preformed in a group alone.

A: Who gave Bell the rule book?

Ed: That would be me!

A: Jerk! Aw and it's the one she can understand too!

Holds up: At home Karaoke for Dummies

C: (Sing Hero Heroine and points at Esme when it says Heroine)

It's too late baby, there's no turning around  
I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud  
This is how I do  
When I think about you  
I never thought that you could break me apart  
I keep a sinister smile and a hole in my heart  
You want to get inside  
Then you can get in line  
But not this time

Cause you caught me off guard  
Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine

I won't try to philosophize  
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes  
This is how I feel  
And it's so surreal  
I got a closet filled up to the brim  
With the ghosts of my past and their skeletons  
And I don't know why  
You'd even try  
But I won't lie

You caught me off guard  
Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine  
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

And I feel a weakness coming on  
It never felt so good to be so wrong  
Had my heart on lock down  
And then you turned me around  
And I feel like a new born child  
Every time I get a chance to see you smile  
It's not complicated  
I was so jaded

And you caught me off guard  
Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine  
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

(I feel like a hero and you are my heroine)  
And I feel a weakness coming on  
Never felt so good to be so wrong  
Had my heart on lockdown  
And then you turned me around  
(Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?)  
I feel like a new born child  
Every time I get a chance to see you smile  
It's not complicated  
I was so jaded

(I feel like a hero and you are my heroine)  
And I feel a weakness coming on  
Never felt so good to be so wrong  
Had my heart on lockdown  
And then you turned me around  
(Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?)  
I feel just like a new born child  
Every time I get a chance to see you smile  
it's not complicated  
I was so jaded

E: Wow Sweetie thank you!

C: It's just because I love you

A: Oh He's good

B: So smooth

Em: I mean I'm thinking about kissing him

A and B: That's creepy

R: I'm gonna sing now!

A: I wonder why (in a cynical voice)

R: Watch it Bi-Polar lover!  
A: snarls  
R: OH YEAH WELL YOU HAVE PRADA KNOCK OFF SHOES!

A: Oh no she di'nt

R: OH YES I DI 'ID now hush

R: (sings I kissed a girl, in a banana suit)

This was never the way I planned  
Not my intention  
I got so brave, drink in hand  
Lost my discretion  
It's not what, I'm used to  
Just wanna try you on  
I'm curious for you  
Caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chapstick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it

No, I don't even know your name  
It doesn't matter,  
You're my experimental game  
Just human nature,  
It's not what,  
Good girls do  
Not how they should behave  
My head gets so confused  
Hard to obey

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chap stick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it,

Us girls we are so magical  
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable  
Hard to resist so touchable  
Too good to deny it  
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chap stick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it

Em: That is sooooooo hot

B: K it's my turn (Sings John trovolta's part in summer nights)

Woo call out Em

Em: Just to be clear I still get my turn (sings Sandy's part in extremely high soprano part)

[Bella]

Summer loving' had me a blast

[Emmett]  
Summer loving' happened so fast

[Bella]  
I met a girl crazy for me

[Emmett]  
Met a boy cute as can be

[Both]  
Summer days drifting' away, to uh-oh those summer nights

[Everyone]  
Uh Well-a huh

[Thunderbirds]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Dowdy]  
Did you get very far?

[Pink Ladies]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Marty]  
Like does he have a car?

[Everyone]  
Uh-huh

[Bella]  
She swam by me, she got a cramp

[Emmett]  
He ran by me, got my suit damp

[Bella]  
I saved her life, she nearly drowned

[Emmett]  
He showed off, splashing around

[Both]  
Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights

[Everyone]  
Uh well-a huh

[Pink Ladies]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[French]  
Was it love at first sight?

[Thunderbirds]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Knuckle  
Did she put up a fight?

[Everyone]  
Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh

[Bella]  
Took her bowling in the arcade

[Emmett]  
We went strolling, drank lemonade

[Bella]  
We made out under the dock

[Emmett]  
We stayed out 'till ten o'clock

[Both]  
Summer fling, don't mean a thing, but uh-oh those summer nights

[Everyone]  
Uh well-a well-a huh

[Thunderbirds]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Putzie]  
But you don't gotta brag

[Pink Ladies]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Rizzo]  
Cos he sounds like a drag

[Everyone]  
shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, YEH

[Emmett]  
He got friendly, holding my hand

[Bella]  
While she got friendly down in the sand

[Emmett]  
He was sweet, just turned eighteen

[Bella]  
Well she was good you know what I mean

[Everyone]  
Whoa!

[Both]  
Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those summer nights

[Everyone]  
woo, woo, woo

[Pink Ladies]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[ Jan]  
How much dough did he spend?

[Thunderbirds]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Sonny]  
Could she get me a friend?

[Emmett]  
It turned colder - that's where it ends

[Bella]  
So I told her we'd still be friends

[Emmett]  
Then we made our true love vow

[Bella]  
Wonder what she's doing now

[Both]  
Summer dreams ripped at the seams,  
butut oh, those su-ummer nights....

[Everyone]  
Tell me more, tell me more!

J: I'm gonna sing now my favorite song

B: Watch it be Broken Man by Boys like Girls

J: (sings I'm walking on sunshine)

A: Well that was a shocker

B: Creepy actually

A: But he's my man

B: No worries

A: You calling my man ugly?!?

Ed: watch it girlfriend!

A: Quiet child

Em: She has powerful kicking legs

Ed: (ran up stairs and grbbed alice's favorite stiletto's) Stop being mean to her or the shoes get it

A: what are you gonna do huh?

Ed: (threatens to snap the heel

A: You wouldn't !

Ed: I would!

B: thanks love

N: Watch out Nessie's gonna sing!(this is Watch the sky by something corporate)

I'm lost at sea,  
The radio is jamming but they wont find me,  
I swear its for the best  
And then your frequency is pulling me in closer  
Til I'm home.

And I've been up for days  
I finally lost my mind  
And then I lost my way.  
I'm blistered but I'm better and I'm home.

And I will crawl, theres things that aren't worth giving up I know.  
But I won't let this get me I will fight.  
You live the life you're given with the storms outside somedays all I do is watch the sky.

This room's too small, it's only getting smaller  
I'm against the wall, I'm slowly getting taller here in Wonderland.  
This guilt feels so familiar and I'm home.

And I will crawl, theres things that aren't worth giving up I know.  
But I won't let this get me I will fight.  
You live the life you're given with the storms outside somedays all I do is watch the sky,  
Somedays all I do is watch the sky.

I think I, I could use a little break, today was a good day.  
I think I, I could use a little break, today was a good day.  
It's a deep sea on which I'm floating. Still I sink to think that i must...

Crawl, theres things that aren't worth giving up I know.  
When you can't bear to carry me I'll fight.  
You live the life you're given with the storms outside somedays all I do is watch the sky,  
Today was a good day, today was a good day.

**Okay I know it isn't realistic but it would be sweet right!??!**

**(**doorbell ringsand Andre McMhon shos up)

An: You guys sounded great

Everyone: thanks

An: We thought this was a concert hall In the middle of the woods but can we stay anyways?

N: Of course

(Starts a 5 hr long epic time of singing along)

An: Lets end with The Mixed Tape

N: This is morning that's when I spend the most time

Thinking bout hat I've given up

Alice:This is a warning  
When you start the day just to close the curtains  
You're thinking 'bout what I've given up

J: Where are you now?  
As I'm swimming through the stereo

Em:I'm writing you a symphony of sound  
Where are you now?

Ed:As I rearrange the songs again  
This mix could burn a hole in anyone  
But it was you I was thinking of

B:I read your letter  
The one you left when you broke into my house  
Retracing every step you made  
And you said you meant it  
Ed:

And there's a piece of me in every single  
Second of every single day  
But if it's true then tell me how it got this way

An:

Where are you now?  
As I'm swimming through the stereo  
I'm writing you a symphony of sound  
Where are you now?  
As I rearrange the songs again  
This mix could burn a hole in anyone  
Ev:But it was you I was thinking of

Sand I can't get to you  
I can't get to you  
I can't get to you

Ca:Where are you now?  
As I'm swimming through the stereo  
I conduct a symphony of sound

N:Where are you now?  
As I'm cutting through you track by track  
I swear to God this mix could sink the sun  
But it was you I was thinking of

N: And where are you now?  
Andrew: And where are you now?

Everyone: And this is my mixed tape for her  
it's like I wrote every note  
with my own fingers

I know it as really unrealistic but I love him so much so yeah if u doesn't like it write it into review .again I cannot this more, please review.

] I THOUGHT OF A GREAT QOUTE FROM MYSELF

"When your afraid to fall just remember you'll fall in my arms"

It can always seem like the little thing

That turns out the biggest thing that

Fall

Through

The

Cracks, don't forget

It seems like there's two simple words that are most important and should be taught to you as a child

I'm Sorry, always apologize

People don't realize until it's too late that words can be like double edged knives, and when your in a fight you pull out that drawer and grab the sharpest you have and stab them in the back, think before you speak.

I have to get rid of these feelings but a song comes and explains them and brings them back. don't be afraid of what you feel

Stop wishing because peter pan and never land are far away, even a plane ticket can't buy you a wish.

Think 21 and invincible not Hurricane, be positive

Violent beginnings have violent ends, always play nice

Space is for thinking and earth is for staying, don't get caught between two worlds

You say it isn't so but it turns out it was so, always tell the truth

I know msa's are coming for all of you guys so I hope these stories help


	5. Chapter 5

**Aw I love you guys so much! 48 hits and 45 views! That's so sweet! I'm fairly sure you guys told all your friends so thanks so much! I love you all! So this chapter is so different! It's Nessie's day in the life chapter. I love boys like girls so much! Especially dance hall drug and hero heroine. So let's get started. I rechecked my views and were up to 56 hits and 52 visitors. OK I'll make a deal with you all, if I get 100 hits I will post 5 chapters the day it hits 100 by the end of April. It took probably 1 and ½ months to get to 56 so I think you guys can make it! Oh and I thought of this: Person: It took a lot of creative juice to make this**

**Me: Mine comes in the form of 6 cans. **

**Ok Roll the text!**

I groggily walked down the stairs in black velvet gymnastic shorts which could very well be called booty shorts and ¾ sleeve baseball style shirt with our family crest on it. My hair was in an extremely messy low ponytail that would take a few minutes to get the hair tie out. I held my head and groaned as my head throbbed.

A: Oh girl that is so not your look.

B: (chuckles) Crazy night?

Me: Not really, all I did was eat 2 packages of sour skittles and write and post 2 chapters of my fan fiction.

A: Wowzers!

Me: yeah

B: Go back to bed sweetie, torrential rains equal 2 hour delay, I'll keep you posted

Me: Sweetness. Hey pass me that box of Honey Smacks please.

B: Sure (skillfully tosses me the box)

Me :( immediately shoves hand into box) (with mouth full) mum hm hm hm hm

B: Yeah that is really good cereal

Me:( laughs forcing the cereal from her mouth on to the floor)

B: I m so not cleaning that up

A: Don't even think about thinking about looking at me

Me: Emilly!(calls the yellow lab into the kitchen to devour the cereal)Ugh can you feed her mom?

B: Fine

Me: I'm gonna go sleep

I stumbled up the stairs falling twice and groped my way around the dark room to my bed. It seemed like only 5 minutes later Mom came in and told me that they called off school.

I slept for another hour and then went to alice's room.

Me: Alice I need my laptop to work at being a hermit.

A: Ok we have to talk about the shorts.

Me: Ok no just give me my laptop

A: We play what not to wear for an hour and you get your laptop

Me: Fine but I'm not showering

A: Ugh fine

For the next hour I watched her abuse me and my clothes and Emmett by making him pretend to be gay and telling me clothes that didn't fit my form. Then gave me my laptop. I slept while the YouTube window played boys like girls and woke up when dance hall drug came on and then decided to listen to watch the sky by something corporate. I danced and sang along after I closed the shades then opened them remembering I was in the forest but then got creeped out and closed them. I went downstairs and ran to the garage to grab 2 cans of and ran back upstairs. I questioned myself on why my tag in my shirt hurt so much. I took it off and changed and saw that in the tag it read" AliceRose fashion" in rubies. Wow the things Alice does.I'm really sorry its so short. I tried to lengthen it then it closed the window and there is no way i'm rewriting it.

**That's all for now because it's 2:15 am**

(American Love the part Big hearts is playing in the background while Nessie shakes hand with an 18 yr old.)

What happens when Nessie meets another man?

Will she fall in love or have a new best friend?

Do you want to know about this? I give you six hours from 12:48pm

Also I think Nessie should start writing lyrics. If you don't review then nothing happens.


	6. newest

" It's ok, She'll come soon, she'll be in here" I calmed Ella, she was worried after a half a minute that Emilly wouldn't come, it reminded me of the same thing Linden told me when we were at Walmart when we were like 5 and we both lost my mom.

_Flash Back:_

_In Walmart at 7:34 pm back when Nessie was a mere 5 years old with her friend Linden and Nessie's mom."It's ok, She'll come soon, She'll be in here" Linden comforted me with no success. We were in Walmart and our Mom had gone to Vegetables while we went to the candy aisle. We finished looking at the candy we moved to the vegetables to look for my mom. She wasn't there so we looked all around te foods, then moved back to candy. I remembered the advice my mom had given me that if I ever got lost to stay in the same place I was, so we went back to candy and sat on the floor and waited for a total of 33 minutes. Our overalls and elmo shirts were covered in dirt from sitting on the ground. We found our mom._

_Flash Back ends._

" Nessie, Nessie!" Wake up! Come on!"


	7. A day in the life of NEW

A day in the life of: Nessie's school

Narrated by: Nessie

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing including any twilight names, sets, or anything created of Catherine Hardwick (whom I am hateful to) and or Stephenie Meyer

**Side note of the author: I'm keeping gm ypromise to post what was is 3 chapters in one night. It's 9:49 and I'm going to try to make 3 chapters 5 minutes to midnight. Enjoy!Holy Shit! I cn NOT DO THIS! I PROMISED HYOU 5 HAPTERS IN ONE DAY! HOLY CRAP! I AM PERSON OF MY WRODS THO! I WILL DO THIS! I'm sorry , my a and w keys are broken, if me or spell check didn't catch mistake, look next to the letters and try putting them in, if that doesn't make sense, assume its an a or w. I hope you enjoy, I'm sorry if you are mad at me but, this will be the last chapter I add as a new story, I know granny(me) just figured out how to add chapters. So start looking for new chapters on the old ones, I'm currently adding the old ones to chapter one also. Enjoy, please, if you don't review it I will think you hate not only the chapters but me too, and then I will not write anymore. Also this is the (hopefully) much anticipated chapter where Nessie meets someone new! Actually, genius editing! 2 new guys. Oh and since I'm adding two new guys, one has to go, Alex I think it was; eh I never used him anyways. Sorry thing takes up the entire chapter! Lol.**

I realized that it was 8 am so I paused "if you see Jordan" on and turned to shower. I pulled on the skinny jeans I got at H and M and a white tank top with a purple sweater. I pulled my brown hair in a relaxed half pony tail and realized that with the argyle socks and van ballet flats in white I looked like modern therapist. I ran to school at 8:54 am and quickly slammed my back pack at the lockers. I bent over to pick up my books and binders when I heard a girls voice saying "OMG you are so working those shoes!" It couldn't be Alice because just this morning she and Rosalie had attacked them with insults. I bent straight up and slowly said thanks and I turned around to see a kid with blonde hair smiling." Um may I help you?" I questioned slowly "Of course silly billy!" Wow who is this kid? "How can I help I guess?" I questioned yet again slowly. "Do you have an extra brush, I look like a slob today" he said in a quite high- pitched voice. "Um sorry no, and that's not true you look great in that Abercrombie and Fitch shirt." Oh my gawd this guy must think I'm retarded. "Do they talk slow where you come from?" "Oh ha-ha no I'm just surprised by you're . . . um . . . " "my voice? Yeah I get that a lot!" "So why are you talking to me, Nessie Cullen, Mr. Abercrombie and Fitch?" "Oh where are my manners today!? My name is Fagan Crumpet and yes I am gay." Wowzers what a name" So why would you approach a stranger like me for a brush" I said "Oh that's easy you silly, we aren't strangers! We have math together!" "Oh okay. So how long have you been . . . .? Gay" "Since the day I was born at lest that's what my dad says" "So your dad knows?" "Yeah, he doesn't care. Long as I don't say guys are hot in front of him he's cool with it"" Frozen kidney beans" "I like you, ya got pizzazz!" "Wow, so got a boyfriend?" "Yeah his name's Jordan" "Woooooooooooow. That pardons my French, asshole?" " Yeah, but he's pretty nice all in all, he's just over protective, he went gay cause some chick made an ass out of him in front of everyone. So he hates chicks now" "Wow that's pretty sexist. But I guess whatever is cool with you." "Yeah, what about you?" "Nah, you heard of Bella Cullen? She's my mom, she met that guy Edward, he treats her write and stuff like that, so my standards are pretty high, and these guys are like jerks so, yeah"

**Quick recap: Nessie has met one guy already, Fagan- it means little fiery one. So just wanted to recap. Sorry if that insults your intelligence .**

I spent the entire math talking with Fagan. Getting in trouble 7 times in the making of it. "HEY I HAVE A GREAT IDEA!" " Oo Yummy! What is it?!" " We be video buddies, like make music videos on ! That ould be so fun! I've been looking for a guy to make music videos with!" "Yes! OK how about How to save a life by the fray!" " LOVING IT!"

**Special Feature: The lay out / script for the video they make. Sadly I have no gay best friend so I can't really make the videos. Lol awesome picture! On the news it was a poster and it says" Al Gore didn't make the internet. But he did make up Global warming." Ok there actually is 23 flavors in ! I googled that bitch and here is the much anticipated 23 flavors in :**

1.

Amaretto

2.

Almond

3.

Blackberry

4.

Black Licorice

5.

Carrot

6.

Clove

7.

Cherry

8.

Caramel

9.

Cola

10.

Ginger

11.

Juniper

12.

Lemon

13.

Molasses

14.

Nutmeg

15.

Orange

16.

Prune

17.

Plum

18.

Pepper

19.

Root Beer

20.

Rum

21.

Raspberry

22.

Tomato

23.

Vanilla

**Thank you ! **

Back to the story

Theme: Alchohalic boyfriend and the girlfriend wants him to stop

The beginning we use posters to write what they say, "Sit down we need to talk" he keeps walking and she says " Sit down its just a talk" he smiles and she stares. She blocks the door and he tries to leave. And then bove her head a thinking bubble and it says " why did I choose him?"

Then at the chorus it shows the two at the table and he slowly fades. T the secod verse above her head she is speaking to him nd it says" C'mon, you know I know what's best for you. Drinking is a problem and you need to go to aa meetings"

When it says he raises his voice in caps lock it says" I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!!" in a speech bubble from him. She has a speech bubble saying " It's AA or me"

Then when it says he will do one of two things, it will first have him at an AA meetings and then he says" I'm sorry" and she again questions why she went for him. Then its him passed out on the floor with a bottle in his hand and she's crying over top of him.

End scene

Credits:

Thanks to Stephenie Meyer, for writing a book to truly be proud of to parody off of.

Thanks to Something Corporate for all of your beautiful songs, especially Konstantine

Thanks to the author of Life as a Jelly Donut for your hilarious writing and for the inspiration of the gay best friend, I hope you don't mind me using it a little

Thanks to my viewers, with out whom I wouldn't have the confidence to keep writing

A very special thanks to my sister, without whom the preview of the third chapter would not be possible and inspiration for the anticipated chapter: Cleaning the Fridge (A little Shop of Horrors parody crossed with Twilight). Thanks sis, I love you

A special thanks to my friends, without whom I wouldn't be able to refrain from unleashing my crazy on all of you! And trust me; you do NOT want to see that.

Thanks to Yahoo! Messenger, for keeping me on with longer than, midnight conversations that kept me awake while I posted chapters and wrote them.

Thanks to Heidi and Ella for the adorable inspiration you give me. And especially to Heidi for being my baby girl, down stairs while I do these chapters.

Thanks and sorry's to anyone I forgot that I'm sure well- deserve a special spot on here!

Thanks to Lindsay for the reviews and encouragement, and being with me and helping me out of everything, always there to help sis. From going to the midnight premiere of Twilight the movie, to Breaking Dawn parties, to Twilight collation meetings, you supported the extreme lengths of nerdiness I went to.

Thanks to Scrubs and TiVo for hours of endless entertainment, and inspiration

Thanks to Dr. Pepper , Pepsi Max, and Coca Cola for just as much inspiration as my friends.

**K I'm sorry if you hate it but this is my line in blue chalk, this is the end of the chapter**


	8. Questions and Answers

OK question and answer in a review chapter, here's the format, I ask a question I'm thinking you might have and I answer it, then in a review I would like you all to answer it, then I ask a question for you all to answer specifically and I will answer it too. Roll the text!

I'm sure you all have this one:

Do you have a life? Answer: Yeah, I think I dropped it though when I found caffeine and fan fictions. Anyone seen it recently?

To the fans: OK there is a song called Straw Dog by Something Corporate, please listen to it and tell me what it means/is saying to you, you might want to look at the lyrics, I was looking at the lyrics and reading the comments and all of the people who commented had such different views!

Question: Pepsi or coke?

Answer: Coke, but Pepsi commercials are so much better

To the fans: Do you paint Easter eggs?

I do, take a look at my multi-colored gross hands and what I'm now calling my paint pants and you'll know that.

Question: What are some lyrics you use to guide you life or truly believe in? Answer: I think now a day's its probably straw dog, when he says: what does it take to be a super hero in my world, make no mistake that these villains always get the girl.

To the fans: Crayola or rose art for crayons? Answer: Crayola all the way

Question: Are there actually 23 flavors in ? Yes there are, you should read my last chapter or two ago.

To the fans: Do you think the twilight movie was good and do you think new moon will be better? No to both of those, the twilight movie was nothing like the book, and Kirsten Stewart needs to change emotions a lot. When she's with Jacob she's all rainbow smiles, when she isn't she is cutting herself with a razor blade. Bella will be great at the whole, wakes up in the middle of the night screaming, Charlie will do great too and I think Taylor Laurent was a great choice as long as they get him a different wig.

What are you listening to right now? Answer: 1234 by the plain white t's if you listen to it( highly recommended) please watch the video and "river flows in you" by Riruma and "closer" by Joshua Radin

I want you guys to take ur fav board Game and write some smack talk for it: two examples:

Scrabble: I'M GONNA PUT A Z OVER YOUR TRIPLE LETTER SCORE!

Uno: I'M GONNA PUT A REVERSE OVER YOUR 9 RED CARD

11. What is your favorite Easter candy: peeps, all the way


	9. unicoprns are yellow

Twilight short fanfiction

**K guys I just wanted to show u the only reviews I've gotten even though I give the lovew of adding a chapter almost very week. Oh and there's just a pinch of the little cliff hanger slash question I gave.**

Chapter

Reviewer

Date

Action

8

Nessasaur

2009-04-19

delete

I think the song Straw Dog is about a girl-Jessica-losing hope; on the intersection, ready to fly, ready to die.  
No, my family is anti-Easter/anti-loving Lindsay.  
CRAYOLA, UHDUH. I know all current 964 colors and the originals.  
New moon has to be better. More Jacob face time.  
Sorry:I AM GOING TO BUMP YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!  
Monopoly:oh oh oh, PAY THE MAN!  
Easter candy?uh peeps, only the yellow ones though.  
Love,  
Nessasaurus rex.

7

Nessasaur

2009-04-19

delete

JESSASAUR I LOVE YOU!  
*Looks back at guy staring at me*  
"what you staring at, huh? You wanna go?DO YOU WANNA GO, PUNK?"  
anyways  
That was really good  
All 23 flavors!Modern Therapist!it all makes sense now  
and thanks for the part dedicated to me,  
you're the only one who can spell my name right, my grandparents still spell it LYNDSEY  
hehe.  
But again, Killer chapter!don't drown those creative juices.

6

Nessasaur

2009-04-19

delete

Nice flash-backing skills

5

Nessasaur

2009-04-19

delete

Good job

5

Bob

2009-04-19

delete

That sounds like what you do all day

4

Nessasaur

2009-04-19

delete

good.

1

Lindsay

2009-03-26

delete

The bold is definitely interesting, and, the story is so unique from the other fan fictions I've read. I'd have to give you 4 1/2 stars daling.

Love,  
Your Very Own Nessasaurus Rex.

Return to Top

**That's my best friend right there. Pretty funny eh?**

**Ok so as promised**

Dad drove me to school today and would be in the building cause he was a little suspicious of a new vampire in town. I opened my locker and an array of folders and binders and papers I should have thrown out 3 months ago came pouring out. " Ah! Buck!".

I went down to the floor on my hands and knees and picked up the binders first . A set of hands came down in my eye sight and I heard the words " oh here let me help you with that", " I chuckled and said " Oh thanks." I suddenly realized that this was a male's voice. I looked up and he looked stunningly like the young Andrew McMahon when he was in Something Corporate. My mouth dropped and he chuckled

" Heres your uh spiral, by the way, that picture it hilarious!" I looked down to see my drawing of a unicorn saying, "Wait! Since When Are Unicorns Yellow" facing straight up.

" Oooooh that's . . . embarrassing" "I think it's pretty funny, especially since the tiger below it is indigo"

**I hope you caught those Nessie! **" oh yeah most people just question why its indigo if it's a tiger"

" Well that's obvious, it's a tiger!" Perfect.

" So uh, where are you headed?" " Oh, it's my last class, Spanish with ugh, "

" Oh yeah, I've heard quite a bit about him from Linden my best friend"

" Oh yeah we partner all the time."

" Really what's your name I'm not sure she's mentioned you before"

" Oh right, how could I forget my own name! It's ( **This is where you come in audience, Drew or Jeff? )**"

Oh. My. God. " Cool name."

" Woah . Is that . . . . is that . . . COOKIE MONSTER!!!???" I followed his eyes to my locker, empty of papers but the cookie monster showing with it's arms embraced.

" What? Oh yeah. I still like Sesame Street, I mean I don't get up early to see it or anything, but I still like Elmo and Cookie Monster and stuff, but we all have our little quirks right?"

" I still like Sesame Street, I don't consider it a quirk, but a unigue quality, like loving Avenue Q songs" He. Was. Perfect

"Oh my god, you like Avenue Q? What's your favorite song?"

" Um, either For Now or Purpose" Sweet Carshizzle

"No way, no that is so not possible, thaose are my favorites"

" It's True! Ok so then what is your favorite comedy ones?"

" Um first is Everyone's a little bit racist or Shadenfraude"

" Ok now your lying!"

" I'm Not I love them!" This is just insane!

" Oh we should probably get to class."

" Oh yeah, um mine next class is upstairs too" It wasn't but what could it hurt?

" So What's your favorite band?"

" Oh, I think I'd go with Something Corporate, I bet you haven't heard of them though"

" Are you kidding me? I love Jack's Mannequin, but Straw Dog is sweet"

We broke out in a little tone deaf rendition of Straw Dog and soon we were at the door of Mr. Travis.

" Hey, just taking a little leap here but you got a cellular phone I can text you with?"

" Yah know, it just so happens I do!"

" Can I have the number for it?"

" Sure, post-it work?"

"Definetly"

" So I just have one more question before you miss the last half of your class"

" Ask away"

" Do you play a musical instrument?"

" yeah, violin"

Holy ****in Crap!  
He went into class and I went to chorus. We had some time left over after 3 songs so I just sang while people mingled and gossiped. I chose Goodnight My Angel by Billy Joel

Here:

I imagined the poiano playing the ointro

Goodnight my Angel time to close your eyes

I then heard someone start playing piano and singing ever other

I turned around to see it was . . .

Edward

The gay kid

The kid she just met

Billy joel


	10. Answers

Answer to twilight short

**Read and review oo almost forgot**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all!**

_When we last left off, I left you wondering who wasthe mysterious spiano player While this is all happening Seasons Of Love by rent is playing_

" Jeff!?"

" Surprise? I'm sorry I couldn't help myself you're such a beautiful singer"

" Yeah you too, but I don't understand you said you play violin"

" I was afraid you might think piano playing is girly"

" I love piano players, I think it's the most romantic instrument"

" So you don't think I'm gay?"

" I sure hope you aren't"

" cool, wanna do some Straw Dog?"

" Actually, do you know the Joshua Radin version of the Sesame Street them song?" I laughed nervously which came out like the sound a five year giggles

" Lets find out" I laughed

He was great, and it turns out I can sing pretty high.

Leter that night texting

**Jeff or drew whichever you prefer will be italics while nessie will just be normal writing**

_**Hey I never caught your name**_

Nessie, nesie Cullen

_Cool_

20 questions time: pen or sharpie?

_Sharpie definetly,favorite color?_

Blue light blue to be specific, have you ever danced in front of the window at night when no one's home?

_Sadly, yes, to what song? Im not telling them_

I've danced to give me your eyes everyone's a little bit racist and about every single jm song there is

_Same here but I've also done purpose and closer by Joshua radin_

Lol

_So pepsi or coke_

Usually coke but sometimes pepsi or , What is your fav. Soda?

_Dr. pepper, fav. Smell?_

Cinnomin apple tea bags fav. Home smell?

_Cinnomin apple air wick, fav dr. sues book?_

The lorax .Sry, it's 1:18 am, I'm kinda tired, I'm gonna go to bed

_K, goodnight, here I'm sending you this recording of me playing goodnight my angel on the piano with you singing, I tok my phone out and recorded it_

Cool I bet this will sound great

Does my voice really sound that whiney ?

_Not at all_

So I got to go sleep, sorry, sleep good

_Yeah_

_Nessie has turned her phone off_

_**Jeff has turned his phone off**_

**Jeff's point of view:**

(his best friend is named Drew)

Drew: Jeff, come on , are you gonna go join us for a midnight run and put that stupid phone down already!

Jeff: Alright , Alright!

( jeff's phone rings, having his goodnight my angel ringtone with Nessie's singing play)

Drew: Isn't that Nessie Cullen singing? And that's you playing piano, I can tell, you always hit the highest and lowest note before playing the music! Dude you've totally fallen for her!

Jeff: Shut up Man no I didn't!

Drew: oh really?( takes phone from Jeff and pushes buttons) " Last text sent to: Nessie Cullen"

Jeff: So?!

Drew: Nessie just called you!

Jeff: Oh my god give me that phone now or I will cut you with my teef!

Drew: oo lets listen to the message she left: ( plays message:

_Hey Jeff: Sorry I missed you, wanted to say goodnight with one of my favorite songs:( sings I've Just Seen A face)_

Drew: AHHAHAAHAHAHAH!

Jeff: ( mouth hung open) I swear to god Drew!

Drew : FINE!

( they start their midnight run)

Drew:( takes phone from Jeff and plays message to the part it plays I've just seen a face)

Drew: HEY JEFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'VE JUST SEEN A FACE

Jeff: I CAN'T FORGET THE TIME OR PLACE WHERE WE JUST MET

Drew: SHE'S JUST THE GIRL FOR YOU

Jeff: AND I WANT ALL THE WORLD TO SEE WE'VE MET

Both: MMHMHMHMHM

( sing rest of song in same matter)

Drew: So you gonna ask her out?

Jeff: I don't now, we're just so alike you know?

Drew: I don't know a single thing about that girl, but I know you guys are perfect for each other ( laughs)

Jeff: So should I send her a message back?

Drew: NO NO NONONO NO! you loose all of your upper hand, but if you really must just give her a compliment, just make sure it's back handed like: I like your hair, but it would look better with a nicer outfit

Jeff: That is the . . . WORST ADVICE EVER!!!!!!!

Drew: yeah I know I just wanted to see if you were that stupid ( laughs)

(jeff punches him playfully)

Jeff: Jerk! Ok I know what I'll do, All my loving in a message

Message to Nessie:_** Hey Nessie, your probably asleep already, but this is a nice waking up song, so I hope you enjoy it:**_

_**(sings all my loving by the beatles)**_

**Nessie POV**

Linden: Yah little crack monkey stop texting already!

( snatches phone from Nessie)

Nesie : Hey!

Linden: what is this but a ringing phone? I wonder who it is? Woah, is that Jeff playting goodnight my Angel while you sing to it!?!?!? It is! He always plays the highest and lowest note before playing the actually music piece!

Nessie: So he played piano while I sang, so does the chorus teacher!

Linden: One message received, a voice note from who but . . . JEFF!!!!!

Nessie: GIVE ME THAT YOU LITTLE BUM!

Linden: OOOOO lets see what it says

:_** Hey Nessie, your probably asleep already, but this is a nice waking up song, so I hope you enjoy it:**_

_**(sings all my loving by the beatles)**_

Nessie: This calls for an over night walk

(linden and Nessie being to walk) (snatches phone from nessie)

Linden : HAHAHAH! HEY NESSIE!(plays the All My Loving Jeff recorded)

Linden: CLOSE YURS EYES AND HE'LL KISS YOU

Nessie: TOMORROW I'LL MISS HIM

( continues in same manner)

Linden: So Nessie, Do you like him?

Nessie:Yeah, I think I do

Linden: Are you gonna go modern and ask him out?

Nessie: No way, you forget I must constantly change my mind to CONSTANTLY BLOCK OUT ALICE AND EDWARD (distant, Ow!'s heard)

Nessie: See?

Linden: Ah(breaks out in Purpose from Avenue Q)

.com/watch?v=jwCyKQBrnUs

Nessie: You know, Lins , just cause you find your purpose doesn't mean yourself, in fact, you find yourself by I don't know thinking, or finding your true love does part of it, you can't just find the reason you live and that's you, I mean what if you were here to eat, eating isn't yourself!

Linden; Yeah, I just like that song

**Sorry this one wasn't as funny as they usually are, but something needed to move along the plot!**


	11. Updated

Hey guys, jut made this chapter apologize! It takes a lot of work to get The Asylum Musical just right! Sorry I haven't posted I know I told you guys I would try to get better at posting every week, but a lot of stuff has come up and I would have worked on it last Saturday but I watched the 11th mash season, including the last episode! Ever seen it? You would cry too! I'm trying guys! But its hard (that's what she said!) So yeah keep looking for updates it should be coming really soon! And once again I am very sorry! 


	12. Fanfiction: THE MUSICAL

**Since they would have a lot to use against me in copyright infringement, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED THESE SONGS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS AND THE PARODY IS BASED OFF OF THE HIT NOVEL AND MOVIE: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.**

**Ok guys, I was listening and dancing like a drunk crack baby retarded monkey to Purpose form Avenue Q and I thought, omg! This would make a genius idea for a fan fiction. Then I thought of A Lack of color by Death Cab for Cutie where it says" this is fact not fiction, for the first time in years". So let's get started eh? Oh, btw, when it's in caps, it means they're singing, then the next verses after are going to be lower case. So if it rhymes its lyric s**

I came into school to find my to friends fighting

Linden: cookie monster is indigo!

Jania: Cookie monster is light blue!

Linden: What show are you watching!

Nessie: YOU, YOU THINK IT'S COOL TO BE CRAZY

I SAY YOU WANNA STAY WHICH

IS THE POINT IN TAKIN CHANCES

Janie: And me, I wouldn't call it a  
sophomore slup, no, I'd say  
I'm one step closer to bein' just where I want to be

Linden: Away from this scene,  
Away from this machine

Entire School In Hallway dancing like you would dance to one foot in front of the other, half squat, step forward, fist forward, other foot other arm : So meet me in the middle,  
Well c'mon let's make up a dance  
And we'll agree to call it the compromise

(School is singing along)

Jania: Step one: find a partner, grab a pen ( Everyone finds a partner)  
And don't you dare ask questions,  
Just sign on the dotted line  
Step two: your partner behind a desk  
Will then do absolutely nothing  
So it's your job to dance and smile the whole time

Linden: Well don't call it a trend,  
'cause it's the only way we think to get ahead

Whole School (hips to side jump, other side hip continue until chorus over):

So meet me in the middle  
Well c'mon let's make up a dance  
And we'll agree to call it the compromise  
There's no sense in complainin'  
If it doesn't change your minds  
So take me by the hand, let's compromise

Linden: Well don't call it a trend;  
'cause it's the only way we think to get ahead

(school links hands spreads legs, pulls back and forth until arms are over their heads)

So meet me in the middle  
Well c'mon let's make up a dance  
And we'll agree to call it the compromise  
There's no sense in complainin'  
If it doesn't change your minds  
So take me by the hand, let's compromise

(Insane guitar solo, head banging)

Nessie: So meet me in the middle,  
Well c'mon let's make up a dance  
And we'll agree to call it the compromise  
There's no sense in complainin'  
If it doesn't change your minds  
So take me by the hand, let's compromise

(Jumping up and down, Bell ring and order restores)

Nessie: I'll be honest; I thought it was only us who did those types of things

(Start going to their classes when they see two people in the hall seeming to be breaking up)

Girl: I can't stand to think about  
a heart so big it hurts like hell  
oh my God I gave my best  
but for three whole years to end like this

Guy: Well do you want to fall apart  
I can't stop if you can't start  
Do you want to fall apart

I could if you can try to fix what I've undone  
because I hate what I've become

Hallway:

You know me,  
Oh you think you do you, you just don't seem to see  
I've been waiting all this time to be  
Something I can't define so let's  
Cause a scene  
Clap our hands( claps hands) and stomp our feet(hopping) or something  
Yeah something  
I've just got to get myself over me

Nessie: What is with this school and The Format?

(As Nessie walks down the hallway, kids are at their all humming and some singing to Martha My Dear, kid is faced to locker humming but Nessie walks by and jumps to face her once forwards once to her walking forward and once more to the locker, continues with all)

Jania: Wait, why is there a sign on the door that says Avenue Q on the Social Studies room?

Linden: I guess we'll all find out.

(Later into class)

Ferric: Guys are so much better than girls, stronger smarter, and more talented

Sammina: Oh really?

Ferric: Yep

Teacher comes in: Hey what's all the hubbub about?

Nessie: Ferric was being sexist

Teacher: What did he say?

Sammina: That guys were so much better than girls

Teacher: Well don't take it offensively but it's true, so it's not sexist

Sammina: Anything you can do,  
I can do better.  
I can do anything  
Better than you.

Feric: No, you can't.  
Sammina: Yes, I can.

Ferric: No, you can't.  
Sammina: Yes, I can.

Ferric: No, you can't.  
Sammina: Yes, I can,  
Yes, I can!

Ferric: Anything you can be  
I can be greater.  
Sooner or later,  
I'm greater than you.

No, you're not. Yes, I am.  
No, you're not. Yes, I am.  
No, you're NOT! Yes, I am.  
Yes, I am!

I can shoot a partridge  
with a single cartridge.  
I can get a sparrow  
with a bow and arrow.  
I can live on bread and cheese.  
And only on that?  
Yes.  
So can a rat!  
Any note you can reach  
I can go higher.  
I can sing anything  
Higher than you.  
No, you can't. (High)  
Yes, I can. (Higher) No, you can't. (Higher)  
Yes, I can. (Higher) No, you can't. (Higher)  
Yes, I can. (Higher) No, you can't. (Higher)  
Yes, I can. (Higher) No, you can't. (Higher)  
Yes, I CAN! (Highest)

Anything you can wear  
I can wear better.  
In what you wear  
I'd look better than you.  
In my coat?  
In your vest! In my shoes?  
In your hat! No, you can't!  
Yes, I can  
Yes, I CAN!

I can jump a hurdle.  
I can wear a girdle.  
I can knit a sweater.  
I can fill it better!  
I can do most anything!  
Can you bake a pie? No.  
Neither can I.  
(simultaneously) yes I can! No you can't

Nessie: Well that was ... Something

Linden: Wowzers

Nessie: Yep

Teacher: Man I hate teaching this school

Linden: So quit

Teacher: I can't quit! (Minutes after the class returns to work)

_Something has changed within me_

_(Continues singing Defying Gravity)_

Nessie: WHAT IS THIS!?

The bell screeches and they walk into the hallway. Jeff is standing there and Drew next to him with sign cards

Jeff: Give me more loving then I've ever had (continues singing 1 2 3 4 by the plain white t's)

Drew walked with the cards to people standing next to each other, with the names and short info of the people he stood in front of. He stood next to me and Linden, and held up a sign that said "Linden and Nessie, 18 and 18 best friends since second grade, met on a playground". Drew pulled on my arm and tugged me over to Jeff and held up a sign that said "Jeff and Nessie, 18 and 18, aren't together but should be" the song finished, Drew handed me the cards of me and Linden and me and Jeff.

The bell rings and order again restores

**For you Nessasaur**

It was gym, EW, and we were going outside. We weren't changing and it was good that it was extremely cloudy.

"Hey lins, wanna go mass with Jania?"

"Oh definitely, why would you even ask?"

"Right"

We've always led a superstition that Jania and Drew liked each other. Muahhaha

We ran up to Drew took his arm and dragged him to Jania. We knew that Drew always loved messing with Jania and didn't care about jokes of them together.

"Ok Drew we're going to drag to up to Jania and you're going to sing…….. Um."

Lins interfered "Baby, its fact by hellogoodbye"

We dragged him to Jania and ran away he broke out singing like he was in a Broadway musical while Jania dropped her jaw and glared that in the first verse when he sings they he would look at us. After he finished and Jania and Linden and I had all finished our laughing fits and hysterics Jania chased around the field. I tried maintaining human speed while not letting her tackle me. Chorus passed unexpectedly calm and no singing. We went to science and a couple kids hummed The Scientist by Coldplay. The rest of the crawled by and not soon enough we were at our lockers….

Linden came to my locker and started her end of the day wrap up which usually had nothing to with the day

"So maybe at the end of the day that's what it all comes down to. Love stories and drama's interfering with real life. At the end of the day it almost always comes down to real life fights television daytime dramas. You never know which will win but sadly daytime dramas usually wins. You don't worry about it until it happens to you."

"Interesting"

"I thought so"

Jania tripped down the stairs as I commented "I have this great thing called Balance, you can borrow it sometime"

She jokingly glared and said "yeah well we can't all be vampires"

"Yeah but we can all balance, oh I'm sorry everyone but Jania can"

"Humph"

**I'm sorry that the levels of awesomeness are unequivelint but I needed to post something I'll probably repost when I reread in a month or so. I hope you liked my song choice and I gave the chance for you guys to say what songs you wanted. Oh! Wanted to throw one more song in there**

As I boarded the insanely hot bus I recognized the song and laughed under my breath."Uptown girl by Billy Joel, ha-ha"

**The songs list it:**

**The Compromise by the Format**

**The First Single by the format**

**Martha My Dear by the Beatles**

**(A rather strange version of) Anything you can do from the Broadway musical Annie Get Your Gun**

**Defying Gravity from the Broadway musical Wicked**

**1 2 3 4 by the Plain White T's**

**Baby its Fact by Hellogoodbye**

**The Scientist by Coldplay**

**Uptown Girl by Billy Joel**

**And if you guys see this happening in a slideshow in the end then the song in the background is **

**Oh it's Love by Hellogoodbye**

**And since they would have a lot to use against me in copyright infringement, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED THESE SONGS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS AND THE PARODY IS BASED OFF OF THE HIT NOVEL AND MOVIDE:Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.**


	13. Last Chapter?

Hey guys! I'm sorry I haven't wrote in so very long, but I totally forgot!

So I got a really mean review! I'm gonna post it cause it was cruel!

From: tIMecriesHARD ()

-------------------

Look, you should stop writing this piece of crap you call a story, start all

over, but this time get a beta to tell you your writing is crap! There are so

many errors in this story I started crying by chapter 2! Try typing up a

chapter then having someone with real talent read it! Because this is the

saddest crap load of a story I've ever read! THINK ABOUT IT! NOW!

So that was the review.

But some of it was right. The typing thing, look I'm not so great at typing things. So I have more news.

I got a laptop! Yay! All my own too! I bought some jack's mannequin merch and an Owl City sweatshirt! But back to my fanfic. I am thinking about starting over. My chapters could use some serious updating and my fanfiction was all in good fun . So I might start over with something more dramatic or more funny. So whatever. Either way I'll give you some notice first!

So I'll get back to this soon.


	14. Woops

So obviously I didn't start back up with this

To anyone who may have actually read this, sorry. I will be starting a new story to take the suggestion I was given. I think this is better, I hope the writing is better, I'm working on it.

So expect a twilight story called Fornever or Never or Forever or something. Um here's a little sample of it I guess:

"She sighed in a defeat and restlessness and laid back on the grass. I too laid down and stared at the stars and the clouds that, after photography, seemed to be flat, like someone had smoothed them out to 2D. I looked over to see that Bella had fallen asleep, no doubt with a song in her head. I laughed to myself and shook her shoulder gently. I helped her up and supported the majority of her weight on the walk home. "


End file.
